BEYOND THE 12th STEP
Our Continued Journey of Enlightenment
Today is our first installement of 2025, and we wish you all Peace and Recovery in this new year, New Year, New Day, New Life in every Moment!
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Mental Health Blog Issue #6 12/27/2024
#depression #suicideprevention #wellness #recovery #psychologicalwellbeing #firstresponders #help #recover #police #firefighters #paramedics #nurses #frontline #EHS #OSHA #HSEQ
Mental Health videoBlog Issue #6
1 John 4:18 tells us: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.”
And so when we are agitated, troubled, depressed, fearful; or just plain angry: Angry at the world, angry at our children, at our spouse, at the f***er tthat just cut me off in traffic, what I must do; what I have to do is the most diffcult thing in the world, especially if the hurt is deep, if the hurt is so personal I want to kill, maim, harm, get revenge on the person who has assaulted my opinion, my space, my moral, or ethical code. And it’s even mnore difficult when someone harms my family. Like in the book/movie THE SHACK and the masin character has his daughter raped and musrdered to turn around and accept GOD, albeit as a black woman whom he refers to a PAPA, and he Forgives. This of course if a novel, but this is the true way of Christ Consciousness, to truely forgive and allow GOD to take over the whole show.
In recovery I have learnt to “let go and let GOD”. This is one of the greatest things I have learnt. To Let Go and Let GOD. To forgive, at times difficult to forget, but we must forgive and clear the air for continued dialogue, or at least to find closure with the most diffcult and hurtful experiences. This forgiving transitions us from fear and hate, into LOVE. Love will always conquer fear. LOVE is All there IS! John Lennon sang about that, and he’s got something there.
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Hello all my friends and subscribers. I have taken a sabatical for almost 10 years from this project, for personal, and family reasons. Recently semi-retired and relocated to the area where I lived as a child and reconnecting with friends and family, those who are still alive of course, i will return to bringing Hope and Joy, and food for thought to y’all in the comming year. Wishing you all the greatest holiday seasoon and Great things will come to us all in 2025, and beyond. whatch for my new book early next year:
Paul’s STORY OF ADDICTION AND DYSFUNCTION: How a Troubled Childhood, Riddled in the Grips of Alcoholism, Addiction and Organized Crime Affiliations gave me the Power to Persevere and Overcome Adversity and Muscle Through to a Resilient - Authentic Life
FROM STUMBLES/ WRONG DECISIONS/ to OVERCOMING ADVERSITY/ to BUILDING A BRILLIANT RESILIENT and PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE
Edition 2 Issue #38
What pressures do you feel in your life? Are the pressures of everyday life overwhelming to you? We, who have felt the need, and completed the 12 Step program of recovery, have a new design for living based on Spiritual principle; these Spiritual principles, which govern the Universe, Universal Laws if you will. These Laws are unchangeable and constant; we need to learn to live in accordance with these Spiritual Laws and then, and only then, will we feel the pressure subside. When living in accordance with the Universal laws, which dominate the Universe, we will find inner peace and serenity. Until we are aware of these laws and endeavor to abide by them, we are going to feel the pressures and constant pain and challenges of trying to bend the laws.
Take the Law of Gravity for an example. You cannot bend this law, you cannot drop a ball of the Empire State building and not expect it to fall straight down and eventually land on the ground, or have the wind blow it to an adjacent building. This is a constant law, and there are many others. Like electricity: I don’t know how electricity works; yet I know it can burn me if I place my hand on the stove. I know it will cook my dinner and I know it can electrocute me, yet I don’t know how they work, yet they do work, they rule over all and have lasting repercussions when broken, or countermanded. There are many Spiritual Laws which guide the Universe that I don’t know how they work, or their reason for being, their “raison d’être” if you will, yet I know if I pray for guidance to follow these laws, to do onto others as I would have them do onto me… This is one; one of the many Laws which govern us, and we must learn and abide by the Universal Laws which have dominion over all.
Photo by AUTHOR: ©Copyright 2015 www.beyondthe12th.com All rights reserved
The laws of the Universe, which guarantees we shall reap what we sow; this is one of the Laws to which there is huge benefit if we properly understand it, and treat it as the law that it is. Sow seeds of hope, and Love, and sharing, and compassion, these and other principles, which are Laws that the Universe is based on, are unchanging from time immemorial to the end of time this will remain constant. You don’t have to believe in religion to study the great teacher Jesus and what is laid down as the way to be, the way to act and the way to treat others. We only have to look closely at those sharing these traits; like Mother Teresa of Calcutta. Now I’m not saying that everyone, or anyone for that matter, can replicate the extent of the compassion of Mother Teresa, but if you look at what she did, what she stands for, and the life she embraced, we see that same teachings of Jesus, to treat others with compassion and to love others, and to love the ones who seem least deserving of love. In return we are blessed with Divine Love as expressed by the Universal Mind.
Where do I get the wherewithal to abide by these Laws? We can find solace and guidance through meditation. Better men that I have embraced meditation for ages. The benefits of meditation are infinite; meditation connects us with Universal Mind and our inner being, meditation allows EGO-MIND to take the back seat is you will (see our January 22, 2015 blog post on “EGO-MIND” here these is a partial list of great men who embrace(d) meditation. And be sure to subscribe to our weekly newsletter to receive it directly you won’t miss a beat)
Meditation further connects us with our intuitive self which pretty much guarantees the real self will feel some discomfort, some “gut feeling” when something is wrong, when we are in danger; and ultimately will guide us, if we allow our intuition to, in the right direction, the right course of action, the next right thing.
Be well and be at peace.
Look for next week’s edition on “RELEASE”. And be sure to subscribe to our weekly newsletter to receive it directly you won’t miss a beat.
©Copyright 2015 www.beyondthe12th.com All rights reserved
Edition 2 Issue #37
What hurt am I holding onto? I ask what I’m holding onto because there is only pain if we actually hold onto the hurt. Eckhart Tolle called it the “pain body”. If we resist the pain, the hurt, if we hold it in that special place; where the secret hiding place of the “unwilling to divulge” is hidden away, you know that special place we keep the things we pretend to forget about? Some call the place a ‘closet’, others will refer to it as a ‘box’… Until we are willing to release all the pain and suffering the special place comes back to haunt and hurt us when we least expect, and when we are the most vulnerable. You know exactly the place I mean.
Unless I am completely willing, (see our April 29, 2015 blog post on “WILLINGNESS” by clicking on the link. And be sure to subscribe to our weekly newsletter to receive it directly you won’t miss a beat) and I do mean completely willing, to let go (see our January 7, 2015 blog post on “LETTING GO” by clicking on the link. And be sure to subscribe to our weekly newsletter to receive it directly you won’t miss a beat), until I am willing in the depths of my heart to let go of the things of the past which I keep in that special, secret, place. The secret place that only I know about, the secret place where my secrets will not ever, and I mean ever, be let out. The hiding place of the most secret and closed-in, the secret place where the ‘pain body’ resides, and unbeknownst to us where this infestation (yes I called it and infestation because until you let it out, until we become willing to let go of the past, it will fester and continue to traumatize us for the rest of our live like a vile dis-ease that it is!). This place has to become open and transparent. We have to come to terms with this hidden and so evil damaging holdout. The place of the pain body where those un-reveal-able things are held, some things could be so long forgotten, so well hidden that nothing short of a complete and in-depth moral inventory (read audit) of ourselves will reveal. In the Big Book of AA the first hundred men and women state: “We beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start?” some pretty strong wording here; begging the reader to be fearless and thorough in a in-depth moral inventory to uncover the unimaginable? Who would dare to be so bold, and for a hundred people to come to consensus on such strong wording? Think about that for just a brief moment? And believe me I know we do not want this change; and we, for some of us at least, have to go through life altering trauma to be able to initiate change, this is the selfish, self-centered life of the alcoholic/addict type. We hold on for dear life to the things that are killing us. We do this not out of spite, or out of a death wish, (I say we don’t do it out of a death wish, but this is in the beginning, some of us are so gripped with pain “pain body” and delusions of persecution, or despair, or not measuring up, or any of a number of reason/causes to slip into such depression which turns into suicidal thoughts, and for the few, suicide attempts. If you’re of this type, if you’re in this place; do it NOW, reach out for help, call your local suicide prevention line, walk over to the nearest community center, the nearest hospital, recovery detox… the resources are there, be sure to use them, to get someone to talk to. So many of us have gone through the pain and suffering (see our November 12, 2014 blog post on “SUFFERING” by clicking on the link. And be sure to subscribe to our weekly newsletter to receive it directly so you won’t miss a beat) that we genuinely care and are there to help you. Reach out to a qualified therapist and should they refer you to a support group, know that we are there for you because we understand.) We do it, hold on for dear life to the things that are killing us, unknowingly, mostly, until we have caused so much tragic pain and loss in our lives, in the lives of those who love us, such disastrous behavior behavior in inherent to the alcoholic type, yet is certainly not limited to us.
If you are suffering, especially if you are suffering in silence, you need to reach out now, do it now; you would be surprised at how many people feel your pain. You are not alone, and therefore there are so many of us willing to help, who understand the “pain body” and will help you release this terrible affliction. From dis-ease to a life of ease and joy of a seamless journey to Enloightenment. We are all seekers of peace-of-mind, or joy and serenity. Start your journey today, do it now; know the solution is there, whether it be in the 12 steps like some of us, or in other therapy or recovery systems, we wish you full and speedy recovery.
Look for next week’s edition on “PRESSURE”. And be sure to subscribe to our weekly newsletter to receive it directly you won’t miss a beat.
©Copyright 2015 www.beyondthe12th.com All rights reserved
Edition 2 Issue #36
I’m a victim of delusional thinking. One moment I’m a low life loser and the next moment I think I’m the cat’s ass; delusions of grandeur followed by deep depression. God’s gift to women, the most intelligent and spiritual being on the planet and I’m, like, better than all of you combined. The next moments I’m depressed, suicidal, and looking to jump of the Brooklyn Bridge. For years I was caught in the grips of alcoholism and addiction. My inner thought was such as I truly thought I was a piece of shit, I was a good-for-nothing… I was being punished by an all-powerful deity (I was brought up Roman Catholic and was made to believe such falsehoods) sitting on his throne; because I was a sinner! Deep inside I felt lesser than. I was in good shape. I was successful; I had many friends, or at least a good entourage. I was at the top of my game, yet deep inside I was harboring the awful secret I wasn’t measuring up to: my boss, my parents, my peers, my friends, society as a whole, and mostly wasn’t measuring up to myself… Oh the HORROR I FELT!
The feeling was so deep down that even when things were at their best, there was this little feeling deep in the inner gut, in the pit of my stomach. The hurt (look for next week’s post on HURT, be sure to subscribe to our weekly newsletter to receive it directly you won’t miss a beat) and shame. The guilt and shame (Read our past blog on “GUILT and SHAME” December 17th, 2015 edition. SUBSCRIBE today to be sure to receive the blogs directly to your inbox) of the past was sticking to me like crazy glue. I needed to find a way to convert this to Teflon from the crazy glue, which kept this deep inner feeling.
It’s all about Change; Transformational Change (read our blog on “CHANGE” from January 14th, 2015 edition. SUBSCRIBE today to be sure to receive the blogs directly to your inbox)
The change that comes about, for me it was through the 12 Step work. I had to do a total and complete inventory of myself, my past, and the damage I created or the harm of what was done to me, what I did to others in return; retaliation for the pain I suffered. I found out recently this is all gone, with the release through forgiveness, acceptance, gratitude, and reconciliation; the damage of the past is exactly that: the past! Any and all bad thoughts, thoughts of how bad I am, how much I suffer, how horrible I am, how horrible my life was… all these thoughts are not real, they are past and gone, which was all an illusion. In the big book of AA, it read: “We do recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and …”
Well if I look closer at this quote, what it’s telling me with the word ‘seemingly’ is that it’s all an illusion. The wreckage of the past is just that: PAST! It’s gone: YESTERDAY’S GONE; there’s nothing you can do about yesterday. We need to let go, release and let go of the past, no matter what horrors are there. This is done with help, professional help, a sponsor, doing a complete and in depth moral inventory of ourselves; I did mine with the 12 Step work, and remember I share this in almost every post; you do not need to be an alcoholic to benefit from the 12 Step Program. Find a 12 Step support group near you, get a recommendation from your local community center, whether Sex- Anonymous, Gambling-A, Debtors-Anonymous, Co-dependents Anonymous …. There is a spot for you. YOU must take the first baby steps and reach out for help. YOU must reach out and then the Devine will guide you to the right place. Sit quietly and if you can’t Pray on it, just slow down your mind and ask for guidance. Ask your inner-self for wisdom and the strength to reach out for help.
It seems so easy to write this, but I know how difficult, how humiliating, how low one feels when you realize you are not able to do it all yourself. I, for one, thought I was so smart, know-it-all. I could quit drinking on sheer will power. Yet my addiction to alcohol was not a question of will and inability to get control my drinking (and/or drugging) It was created by a need to run from life, as I know it. I was hiding from myself in a bottle. I could no longer face the thoughts that where killing me, my head was exploding with shitty shitty thoughts and the desire to end it all. I needed the drink, or drug, or whatever to escape. This was not something which will power alone could help me stop. I needed outside help. I needed to reach out for help and I finally found the solution to all my problems in AA and the 12 Step Program of Recovery. Augmented with psychiatrists, drug and alcohol counsellors, an AA sponsor, the desire to completely and fully let go and do the work. This not only saved my life it gave me a new design for living of which I have to share with others.
I have experienced such a miracle in my life that I am bound to share the experience with others. My life experience will be shared for as long as there is someone out there who is still suffering, who I may be able to assist, to help, who will be touched by my words on paper. Anyone and everyone who reads this I ask you to leave a comment. I ask of you to share it with your connections and Tweet, RT and help me get the message out there that there is a solution. There is a way out of depression and living a sub-standard life. It’s freely available to all who ask for help.
Look for next week’s edition on “HURT”. And be sure to subscribe to our weekly newsletter to receive it directly you won’t miss a beat.
©Copyright 2015 www.beyondthe12th.com All rights reserved
Edition 2 Issue #35
The TRAUMATIZED person will be in the best position to recover, and strive for Enlightenment. It’s through pain and suffering that we are most open to change and beneficial transformation, the gift of grace happens through the pain of transformational change. Is it because the human being is so fundamentally resistant to change? That our ‘default’ settings are so set in stone? I, for one, was so set in my ways that no matter how bad things would get, I chose my comfort zone, I chose what I knew and returned to it over and over again. As what Einstein told us is so true: “You can’t change something with the same way of thinking which created the problem” Or something to that effect. Until the pain grows enough that the hurt of change is overpowered by the hurt of remaining in our “comfort zone” are we going to become willing and open to transformational change. So how have you been traumatized? And what treatment are you submitting to? Remember the traumatized individual will go from fear to anger to depression then to anger again. It is in this anger we need to channel change.
To channel change and turn the traumatizing experience(s) into rage and anger, being sure we don’t misunderstand each other here and channel this rage in a violent and physical manner. Channeling the anger and rage in a positive and productive way is very specific, we need to understand here: control is of utmost importance, and you can get this control, even in anger, through meditation. Calm the mind and channel the rage and anger productively relieves the depression and gives us the ability, the wanting to change, change into something better, to strive for a better life, to become completely willing to move from a place of desperation, and despondence, to embrace peace and serenity. This is no easy feat; the control and values needed can, and will come from the principles, which rule the Universe. Let us now learn the Laws, which rule our Universe, Universal Laws if you will. Not easy, but there is simple program in the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous®, (or NA, CA, DA, and number of these programs based on the original AA twelve-step program. Look in your area for the one you best fit into, or that you feel most comfortable with, if nothing else you we probably find you may fit into co-dependency; look for a program in your area and give it a try. You have nothing to loose and everything to gain by it!) There may be other solutions to the difficulties and challenges you suffer, my story evolves from recovery in the Twelve Steps, and BEYOND, therefore I write about what works for me, and countless others who have completely given themselves to the simple program of recovery outlines in the book Alcoholics Anonymous®, mostly referred to as the “Big Book” by members and followers of the AA Twelve Step program. We do recover form a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body; so if you feel hopeless, if you feel lesser than, if you feel depressed and use any substance or even dependence or co-dependence to feel better, to temporarily relieve the pain, to run away from life (as I did for so many years; I needed more, alcohol, drugs, stuff, to get out of my feelings) if you are running and hiding inside there is a way to recover, and then we move beyond recovery to a road blessed with Light and moving towards Enlightenment.
Are you a victim of post Traumatic Stress Disorder? Has it been properly diagnosed? Are there skeletons of your past (commonly referred to as “skeletons in your closet”) that haunt you in your sleep? Haunt you in your waking hours? The trauma of past incidents and pain is not always so apparent as in maybe a soldier coming back from Afghanistan who is in total shock and needs immediate assistance to try to resume a semblance of normality after the horrors of war. PTSD can manifest in traumatic experience from childhood incidents of bullying, abuse, whether physical, mental, or probably the worst is sexual. These traumatic experiences can influence our everyday lives if gone undiagnosed and untreated. We need to deal head-on with the trauma of the past, with the pain and suffering we may think is long gone, everyday lives, in our relationships with others; it manifests in our everyday lives, our relationships with our family, our friends, our partners and especially with our children. If you’re a victim: get your head out of the sand and release this damage, you may, deep inside, feel like damaged goods: This is not a way to go through life, we need to get help; and help is available in countless ways, get some today. Call a help line and ask for help, ask where to go for counseling, for a meeting, for assessment. These services range from free (as in AA et all) to extremely expensive (as in professional psychiatric evaluation, unless you have a good health plan, some of us don’t so revert back to your local community center and AA, NA…) Help is a phone call, or search engine away, get it now!
Have you ever disciplined your child and then turned around and said to yourself: “I promised myself a long time ago I would never, ever exhibit this sort of behavior?” Have you ever hit someone, especially your child, in a certain way, and had those thoughts: “I will not be my father (mother). I cannot repeat the same behavior.” Said to yourself: “The buck stops here!” I have, and meant it, yet when I was in my addiction I forgot my promises, when I was in anger I forgot my promises…
"BUTTERFLY: Symbol of TRANSFORMATION" ©Copyright 2015 www.beyondthe12th.com All rights reserved
When there is no change, there is no change! (see our January 14, 2015 blog on “CHANGE” be sure to “subscribe” to our weekly newsletter so you never miss another blog!) For me, and my experience, I promised myself the damage of the past stops here! I made a solemn promise I would never abuse my children as I had been abused. Then so many years ago I was disciplining a child when he turned to me and said: “you father must have been really mean!”
This shocked me; this reminded me of my solemn promise to myself that I would not be an abuser of my children, or of anyone. I prided myself on some sort of physical control by leaving the house when I felt violence erupting inside me; I would go to the local bar and get into a fight. Coming home at bar closing full of blood was my manly way of saying I will not hit my wife, I will not strike defenseless children and when I am in violence, since this is the way I grew up, in violence, I needed a release and found it in bar fights.
So when I sobered up, (March 10, 2007 is my date) when doing an in depth inventory of myself, my past, and my behaviors; I came to the conclusion the only way for change to occur is if I initiate it. The buck stops here! Any and all past behavior passed down from generation to generation, which is just pain wrong, will no longer go on in my family? This includes, but is not limited to physical abuse, mental and verbal abuse, and any and all other of the family traits, which do not fit into societal norms, as I now understand them. If there is no change there is no change, and here, with me, with this generation the change begins: Let me be clear on the transformation I went through to be able to see this. On doing an inventory of my past I came to the forgiveness part we talk about in our program of recovery and I had challenges with forgiving what I though was unforgivable, until I learnt acceptance: “Acceptance is the solution to all our problems”. Looking more closely at the damage of the past I saw parents who did the same as their parents, as their grandparents and their forefathers did. I imagined the days, like in the movies, of wooden floors in houses and the outhouse in the back yard where the 16 hour days of plowing fields and fathers being mean spirited and abusive to get their children in line. I imagined how this behavior was handed down form generation to generation and that maybe, just, maybe, my parents didn’t know any better: This opened up a whole new perspective for me, the possibility that my parents weren’t mean, they just didn’t know any better because this was the way they were brought up. What a revelation! “If there is no change, there is no change!”
Now let’s go back and look at how the amends and forgiveness process works in here. I have to first come to terms with the people or person who has cause the damage to me, who was, or were the abuser(s). Having looked at the damage of the past in a whole new light, I was now willing and able to forgive and work on bringing about change; the change needed to be sure this behavior no longer propagates throughout this family.
A whole new life opened up for me: Freedom from the wreckage of the past through forgiveness and acceptance. YES! I commenced to understand the word serenity.
Look for next week’s edition on “DELUSION”. And be sure to subscribe to our weekly newsletter to receive it directly you won’t miss a beat.
©Copyright 2015 www.beyondthe12th.com All rights reserved
Edition 2 Issue #35
The TRAUMATIZED person will be in the best position to recover, and strive for Enlightenment. It’s through pain and suffering that we are most open to change and beneficial transformation. Until the pain grows enough that the hurt of change is overpowered by the hurt of remaining in our “comfort zone” are we going to become willing and open to transformational change. So how have you been traumatized? And what treatment are you submitting to? Remember the traumatized individual will go from fear to anger to depression then to anger again. It is in this anger we need to channel change.
To channel change and turn the traumatizing experience(s) into rage and anger, being sure we don’t misunderstand each other here and channel this rage in a violent and physical manner. Channeling the anger and rage in a positive and productive way is very specific, we need to understand here: control is of utmost importance, and you can get this control, even in anger, through meditation. Calm the mind and channel the rage and anger productively relieves the depression and gives us the ability, the wanting to change, change into something better, to strive for a better life, to become completely willing to move from a place of desperation, and despondence, to embrace peace and serenity. This is no easy feat; the control and values needed can, and will come from the principles, which rule the Universe. Let us now learn the Laws, which rule our Universe, Universal Laws if you will. Not easy, but there is simple program in the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous®, (or NA, CA, DA, and number of these programs based on the original AA twelve-step program. Look in your area for the one you best fit into, or that you feel most comfortable with, if nothing else you we probably find you may fit into co-dependency; look for a program in your area and give it a try. You have nothing to loose and everything to gain by it!) There may be other solutions to the difficulties and challenges you suffer, my story evolves from recovery in the Twelve Steps, and BEYOND, therefore I write about what works for me, and countless others who have completely given themselves to the simple program of recovery outlines in the book Alcoholics Anonymous®, mostly referred to as the “Big Book” by members and followers of the AA Twelve Step program. We do recover form a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body; so if you feel hopeless, if you feel lesser than, if you feel depressed and use any substance or even dependence or co-dependence to feel better, to temporarily relieve the pain, to run away from life (as I did for so many years; I needed more, alcohol, drugs, stuff, to get out of my feelings) if you are running and hiding inside there is a way to recover, and then we move beyond recovery to a road blessed with Light and moving towards Enlightenment.
Are you a victim of post Traumatic Stress Disorder? Has it been properly diagnosed? Are there skeletons of your past (commonly referred to as “skeletons in your closet”) that haunt you in your sleep? Haunt you in your waking hours? The trauma of past incidents and pain is not always so apparent as in maybe a soldier coming back from Afghanistan who is in total shock and needs immediate assistance to try to resume a semblance of normality after the horrors of war. PTSD can manifest in traumatic experience from childhood incidents of bullying, abuse, whether physical, mental, or probably the worst is sexual. These traumatic experiences can influence our everyday lives if gone undiagnosed and untreated. We need to deal head-on with the trauma of the past, with the pain and suffering we may think is long gone, everyday lives, in our relationships with others; it manifests in our everyday lives, our relationships with our family, our friends, our partners and especially with our children. If you’re a victim: get your head out of the sand and release this damage, you may, deep inside, feel like damaged goods: This is not a way to go through life, we need to get help; and help is available in countless ways, get some today. Call a help line and ask for help, ask where to go for counseling, for a meeting, for assessment. These services range from free (as in AA et all) to extremely expensive (as in professional psychiatric evaluation, unless you have a good health plan, some of us don’t so revert back to your local community center and AA, NA…) Help is a phone call, or search engine away, get it now!
Have you ever disciplined your child and then turned around and said to yourself: “I promised myself a long time ago I would never, ever exhibit this sort of behavior?” Have you ever hit someone, especially your child, in a certain way, and had those thoughts: “I will not be my father (mother). I cannot repeat the same behavior.” Said to yourself: “The buck stops here!” I have, and meant it, yet when I was in my addiction I forgot my promises, when I was in anger I forgot my promises…
When there is no change, there is no change!(see our January 14, 2015 blog on “CHANGE” be sure to “subscribe” to our weekly newsletter so you never miss another blog!) For me, and my experience, I promised myself the damage of the past stops here! I made a solemn promise I would never abuse my children as I had been abused. Then so many years ago I was disciplining a child when he turned to me and said: “you father must have been really mean!”
This shocked me; this reminded me of my solemn promise to myself that I would not be an abuser of my children, or of anyone. I prided myself on some sort of physical control by leaving the house when I felt violence erupting inside me; I would go to the local bar and get into a fight. Coming home at bar closing full of blood was my manly way of saying I will not hit my wife, I will not strike defenseless children and when I am in violence, since this is the way I grew up, in violence, I needed a release and found it in bar fights.
So when I sobered up, (March 10, 2007 is my date) when doing an in depth inventory of myself, my past, and my behaviors; I came to the conclusion the only way for change to occur is if I initiate it. The buck stops here! Any and all past behavior passed down from generation to generation, which is just pain wrong, will no longer go on in my family? This includes, but is not limited to physical abuse, mental and verbal abuse, and any and all other of the family traits, which do not fit into societal norms, as I now understand them. If there is no change there is no change, and here, with me, with this generation the change begins: Let me be clear on the transformation I went through to be able to see this. On doing an inventory of my past I came to the forgiveness part we talk about in our program of recovery and I had challenges with forgiving what I though was unforgivable, until I learnt acceptance: “Acceptance is the solution to all our problems”. Looking more closely at the damage of the past I saw parents who did the same as their parents, as their grandparents and their forefathers did. I imagined the days, like in the movies, of wooden floors in houses and the outhouse in the back yard where the 16 hour days of plowing fields and fathers being mean spirited and abusive to get their children in line. I imagined how this behavior was handed down form generation to generation and that maybe, just, maybe, my parents didn’t know any better: This opened up a whole new perspective for me, the possibility that my parents weren’t mean, they just didn’t know any better because this was the way they were brought up. What a revelation! “If there is no change, there is no change!”
Now let’s go back and look at how the amends and forgiveness process works in here. I have to first come to terms with the people or person who has cause the damage to me, who was, or were the abuser(s). Having looked at the damage of the past in a whole new light, I was now willing and able to forgive and work on bringing about change; the change needed to be sure this behavior no longer propagates throughout this family.
A whole new life opened up for me: Freedom from the wreckage of the past through forgiveness and acceptance. YES! I commenced to understand the word serenity.
Look for next week’s edition on “DELUSION”. And be sure to subscribe to our weekly newsletter to receive it directly you won’t miss a beat.
©Copyright 2015 www.beyondthe12th.com All rights reserved
Edition 2 Issue #34
YES, transition, or better yet: transitioning into a new life, a new way of thinking and therefore a fresh new world. Is it at all possible? Yes indeed it is. We no longer have to assume to be victims of circumstance, to be directed in life by karma (see last week’s blog on: ”GRACE” for more on Karma and “subscribe“ to our newsletter to be sure not to miss any future posts.) of past blunders, past mistakes or past lives. Yesterday’s gone! There’s nothing you can do about yesterday.
Let’s talk about laws of the Universe; there are Laws such as Newton’s Law of gravity. If I were to jump off a building at 10 stories I will head straight to the ground, whether I believe in God, whether I’m an atheist, a Muslim, Jew, Christian, Sufi, or whatever; the same Law applies to all and every circumstance and no one is above this law, so there are Natural Laws, there are also Universal Laws or Metaphysical Laws of the Universe which are constant and unchanging and for instance electricity, what’s up with electricity? I don’t understand electricity, yet it’s a constant: of the guides and principles of Law governing our Universe, electricity, which in high enough intensity will kill me in an instant, in low intensity it will light up a dark room and brighten the darkest street with a lamppost. It will cook my dinner and warm my house; yet I have no idea where and how it works. It is a mystery to me; yet it’s constant and unchanging as Universal Laws are. As are Natural Laws of the Universe as in the Law of Attraction: You reap what you sow. Thoughts are everything so pay particular attention to though patterns. The Law of Cause and Effect, is similar; as when I constantly worry, worrisome things happen in my life. If I am constantly reminding myself of happiness, abundance, Joy and fellowship as I commune in service (note here the biblical definition of Love in Action) and right thinking; good things are sure to happen to me, and those around me.
So what does transitioning and Metaphysical Laws have to do with change, and changing my way of being? What does it have it do with the way my life unfolds and the circumstances I was born in? So what do I have to change? (see the blog on :”CHANGE” published January 14, 2015; be sure to “subscribe“ to our newsletter not to miss any future posts.) In transitioning: I say everything! Everything is change, and the only constant in life is change; the world changes continuously and if there are aspects of your life that are not working then you need to change things.
Chances are that if your life was perfect you wouldn’t be reading this blog post right now, right! So what do you really need to change? Change your circle of friends? Changes your circumstances? - Let’s pause here to give you the analogy of the differences between and alcoholic (read addict of any kind) and a normal person. The normal person changes circumstances to accommodate their goals; whereas the alcoholic (addict) will change goals, lower their standards, and adapt to be able to continue in a destructive lifestyle without being hampered by outside influences; people, places, and things. Take the example of the alcoholic who loses a job to excessive drinking, or showing up to work drunk, or just smelling of booze from the night before. Or worse doesn’t show up for shifts, or is constantly late. A normal person, who had just got carried too far away by maybe tragedy like a break-up, or loss of a loved one, will reorganize and sober up, take stock of themselves and straighten out. Whereas an alcoholic/addict will find a job, maybe in a bar or in the service industry where some consumption of alcohol, and even drugs, is common and allowed within the industry: changing our outlook and our goals to our circumstance, the opposite of a normal, ambitious, and centered individuals. We, of the alcoholic type (read addictive tendencies), will do anything to keep our destructive lifestyles, and we will justify, at least to ourselves, by convincing ourselves we aren’t harming anyone but ourselves. When we finally sober up and do the self-seeking and soul-searching work of the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous® we discover the friends and family we pushed away were actually very much damaged by our actions and re-actions to life as we tried to run it. Actually running away from life is what I was doing for so many years.
On doing the self-seeking, soul-searching inventory outlined in the twelve-step program of recovery we bridge the gaps we had created, the hurt we had caused, the pain and suffering we inflicted on loved ones; making amends and repairing old damage. Reconciling our shortcomings and defects into the qualities we can build on. Forgiving and being forgiven are key characteristics of mending the damage and hurt we created. Bridging these gaps, repairing the errors of our past and fulfilling lost promises and commitments. We come to terms with our shortcomings and build new bridges, new relationships with others and reconciling our own damage.
And here we create a new beginning, a new life where we can live life on life’s terms. We create the life we, and our families, appreciate. New beginnings and new friendships built on Truth and Love, rather than living in pain and regret will renew our spirit and refresh our sole. This is the ultimate goal of life: to me serene and content within our skin, to live a life one thought of as impossible, or at list improbable. Once we achieve peace within our hearts, all good things will follow. This is one of the promises of the new life build on Spiritual Principles.
Look for next week’s edition on “TRAUMATIZED”. And be sure to subscribe to our weekly newsletter to receive it directly you won’t miss a beat.
©Copyright 2015 www.beyondthe12th.com All rights reserved
Edition 2 Issue #33
As we move away from fear into Faith we accept a position of Grace. GRACE is God’s Love manifested in the present Moment. Grace is freely given to us by the omnipotent, omnipresent Creator; or SOURCE of ALL there IS. There is nothing in particular we need to do, or have done to deserve the Gift of Grace, it is not something we have to strive for, nor work in any selective manner to deserve this Gift from GOD; the Creator and Source. The Energy, which permeates throughout all of existence and throughout all human beings connecting us in Oneness is known as GOD, or Great Creator, or several other monikers, and I like to use ‘SOURCE of ALL there IS’.
As the Gift is so freely available, how do I get it, oh lowly me! Well firstly we need to realize we are all equally deserving of this Gift of Grace, we all can have it. But like any other gift, we need to acknowledge it, we need to accept the Gift for what it is and fully and completely accept it. Have you ever found a large denomination bill on the ground? Let’s say there is a $100.00US bill on the sidewalk - now I know this seems extreme, but it is all but possible. So I see this $100.00US bill and I look around, I don’t want to pick it up because it probably belongs to someone who just dropped it. Couldn’t have just appeared there! Right? So I looks around, nobody is searching their pockets in a frenzy; actually there is no one there at all. No one around to claim it’s theirs. So I look at it, I circle around it, seeing I’m the only person here; there is no one else to claim it at this present moment. I still wait and think if I should pick it up; should I leave it there? What of the rightful owner comes back to get it? But someone else will be sure to come by and claim it as theirs, I think, I think and I think it through again... But the $100.00US dollar bill, unlike the Gift of Grace, is a one shot deal. The Gift of GRACE is for all and everyone, the trick is to identify it, to see it for what it is, to claim is as my own as this is the great Gift I have been promised in Salvation. Not big special tricks and fancy séance and undercover brother stuff, no halleluiahs and fainting spells needed, no spells at all needed… IT’S THERE! Right there in front of me for the taking. I finally pick it up, somewhat wearily, and place it in my pocket. I have claimed it as my own. I will probably wait a little while to be sure no one else claims it. Then, and only then, if no one else claims it, I will be free to own it, spend it, enjoy it, and do with it what I please.
Now consider the Grace of GOD as the $100.00US bill on the ground. Unless I recognize it, identify it, accept it, and pick it up to own and do with it as it should be used, I will never ever get it. IT IS HERE FOR THE TAKING! TAKE IT NOW!
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We must understand the Eastern mistake of Karma and Karmic fate. The Eastern practices pre-dating the Christ Conscience speaks to Karma and Karmic fate as something which will follow us from lifetime to lifetime. Karma will determine our fate, and if there is bad Karma so be it we are stuck in this. But this is but a fable and an untruth as the Great Teacher properly instructed us that the Gift of Grace supersedes and overcomes any and all Karma and Karmic Fate. This is a mistake and we need to get away from this idea as we understand and accept Truth! The incessant chirping in the mind that we did something in our past to deserve punishment, to deserve a bad “karmic” fate. (let it be known here this is countered by the Grace of a power greater than ourselves, call it what you like, Universal Mind, GOD, Creator, (see Edgar Cayce, and A.R.E. (Association for Research and Enlightenment) “… No longer is the entity then under the law of cause and effect — or karma, but rather in Grace it may go on to the …”)
Edgar Cayce was a seer, and connected to the Universal Mind through the Gift of Grace and clear intention.
Look for next week’s edition on “TRANSITION”. And be sure to subscribe to our weekly newsletter to receive it directly you won’t miss a beat.
©Copyright 2015 www.beyondthe12th.com All rights reserved
Edition 2 Issue #32
My past is behind me!
Yesterday’s gone; there’s nothing you can do about yesterday! So let it go! Like the parable of the two Monks walking through the forest: As the two Monks approach a stream, they observe a woman on the far bank beautifully dresses in a lovely long gown, very colourful, ornaments and bejewelled, well made up, and obviously wealthy. As they look down to her feet to observe her wearing delicate shoes and appeared hesitant, even resistant, to put her feet in the water, lest she would damage her beautiful, delicate, shoes and her long dress. The elder of the Monks speaks out to her to wait; he crosses the stream and picks her up carries her across the stream and puts her down in proximity to the younger Monk who looks, jaw dropped, puzzled by this breach of protocol. The lady bows shallowly, as royalty would, thanks the Monk and carries on her journey. The two Monks cross the steam at their turn and continue on their journey to the neighbouring village in silence for a long moment, when suddenly the younger Monks speaks out and asks: “ How come you picked the lady up? We are bound by the oath and are not permitted to touch women. You breached this oath!” Now the elder Monk looks at the young man and replies: “I dropped her a long time ago, why are you still carrying her?”
The moral of this story is we carry so many things from the past, be it from hours, days, years, and decades… We must learn to let go of the things which are holding us back from the “Sunlight of the Spirit”. Anything we hold onto is a potential blockage, especially resentments and pain body. The things we most dearly cling to are usually wrapped in pain body and we set them into protected “closet” spots within our heart of hearts and pretend to forget about them. But in our most dire hours, these are the things the ego-mind clings to.
I hear the expression of the “gerbil (or hamster) on a treadmill” or the ancient meditation guru’s called it “monkey mind”, and this I can relate to; as I recall the Disney depiction of monkeys jumping haphazardly from tree limb to tree limb with no rhyme nor rhythm, no particular purpose… and this is my head. My mind is constantly and continually lying to me; as my good, late, friend Milton Merle used to say: “my head’s got a contract out on my ass” and he was right, left to my own devises I am a train wreck looking for destructive forces within (ego-mind?) to take control and cause havoc, not only in my life, but in the lives those all around me, affecting the lives of the people I care for the most in a negative way. The worst is I usually don’t realize the damage I cause, and create, until it’s too late.
It is a form of self-destruction, of which we don’t realize the extent of the damage until we become depressed and at the end of it, sometimes to the point of being suicidal.
When we get into the rut of past pain, and we don’t know how to get rid of bad thought patterns, of incessant chirping in the mind that we did something in our past to deserve punishment, to deserve a bad “karmic” fate. (let it be known here this is countered by the Grace of a power greater than ourselves, call it what you like, Universal Mind, GOD, Creator, (see Edgar Cayce, and A.R.E. (Association for Research and Enlightenment) “… No longer is the entity then under the law of cause and effect — or karma, but rather in grace it may go on to the …”) The religious beliefs I was brought up with that “God” is going to punish me for my sins, that I will go to hell for my thoughts and actions which weren’t aligned with someone else’s (read deity, or Religious entity) beliefs or ideals. All this “made-up” stuff the Church uses to manipulate the populace. We know this is false, in medieval times it may have worked on simple primitive minds. Now we know this is absolutely false, yet those thoughts were so well implanted into our sub-conscious, into our psyche, that we hold onto these false beliefs. For some of us these beliefs are killing us slowly, for others we are suicidal and alcoholic/addict. We “hold on for dear life to the things that are killing us” because we are conditioned to resist change. It is inherent behavior for humans to resist change, (see our post on “CHANGE” in our January 14, 2015 blog, be sure to subscribe to our newsletter to get all our blog posts delivered directly to your inbox) no matter how painful the ‘default’ is, we resist the deep, fearless, searching which will identify and bring forth the thoughts and feelings which we harbor inside. These thoughts and feelings, which are FALSE, let it be known here there is no such thing as a fate that will keep me depressed, or poor, or self-conscious. God loves us, each and every one of His children; we are LOVED! Karma also is not an issue as it is completely and fully countermanded by the Grace (see next week’s issue on “GRACE” dated August 19, 2015 issue; subscribe today to have our newsletter delivered directly to your inbox.) of God, or whatever else you chose to call the Divine Creator or the Universe, the Substance which permeates throughout the whole of the Universe and beyond!.
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Why do we hang onto the false beliefs of the past? The thoughts, ideas and ideals we hold so deeply ingrained in our sub-conscious mind
We just want to end the pain, and we don’t know how. Until now: the 12 Step program will assist you in discovering; and doing a fearless searching moral inventory which will weed out these past thoughts and behaviors if we do this to the best of our ability and are thorough about the process. Check it out, you probably have nothing to lose by trying it; yet everything to gain by completing a fearless, searching moral inventory. Remember, no successful business stays successful without auditing, and inventory taking; so why would a human being be any different. To achieve success we need to take inventory, weed out the bad, and work diligently on the good, progressive traits. We all have strengths and weaknesses; once we properly identify these we can better work at eliminating the weaknesses and improving on the strengths.
Look for next week’s edition on “GRACE”. And be sure to subscribe to our weekly newsletter to receive it directly you won’t miss a beat.
©Copyright 2015 www.beyondthe12th.com All rights reserved
Our self-honesty is the most important trait we now have. We need to properly develop relationship, bridge the damaged and broken relationships of the past. All the damage we have done in the past can be repaired only if we adopt true self-honesty in all our dealing and all our affairs. The truth will always shine through,... “Every day in every way I get better and better”
Read MoreEdition 2 Issue #30
What a concept: Salvation. I recall the only time I used to hear this word was in a Church, God forbid! But let’s look a little closer at the word salvage; if we look at the dictionary meaning it means to: a rescue of a ship, or its cargo: This to me brings thoughts of rescue, if my body is my “ship” my soul it’s “cargo”, and I wound up with a hole in my heart, a Spiritual emptiness from which I knew not how to recover. I was in the grips of deep emotional, metal and Spiritual trauma, or emptiness; I had lost at the game of life! The “pitiful, incomprehensible demoralization” I felt in the depts. Of my being seemed like the end of the road for me, thoughts of ending, or suicide to the point of attempting to kill myself!
Did I truly try to end my life? Or was it a desperate cry for help? Probably the latter, yet if I would have succeeded in ending my physical life no one would have known the fact I was only reaching out in the only way that I knew, through sheer and utter desperation! Some of you understand this. The solution for me was in the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous® and the complete moral inventory it entails. How can we move forward in a progressive manner without a complete an in depth inventory?
Any and all successful business takes inventory, a business that wants to succeed does an in-depth assessment of what works, what is at stake, what isn’t working and analyses the data. Now why don’t we, as human beings, take a proper inventory of ourselves? Why is this concept so foreign and where do I get a good template? A moral inventory was the start of a new life for me, and countless others who are successful in a program of recovery, be it from alcohol, drugs, gaming, sex, food, co-dependence… Again I will refer the reader to the AA word services website where the last time I checked they identify over 150 programs based on their original “Twelve Step Program of recovery”. Isn’t that amazing? Over 150 derivative programs based on the systems developed over 80 years ago and still going strong. There are naysayers who tell us these twelve steps don’t work, and will try and steer us to their way, yet the people who completely give in to the process, and the full program or recovery as outlined in the “Big Book”, without holding back, are successful and stay sober. The idea is you have to completely commit for it to work. Who really is completely committed to anything? We so take everything in this world for granted, and I for one, lived on the fringes for a time, believing I could fake it, I could, like, do some of the work and feel better for a time, but it wasn’t until I completely, I mean completely, gave myself to the simple instructions and did a true in depth moral inventory to weed out the stale, the stuff which was standing in my way of progress, standing in my way of receiving the “Sunlight of the Spirit”, the things I was holding on to that were in fact killing me. I held on for dear life to the things which were killing me. Why? Because I resisted change, I was so caught up in my way, in my default settings, no matter how uncomfortable they were, no matter how much damage they created, my default was my comfort zone and it wasn’t until my comfort zone was so much more painful that the pain of change that I was willing to completely let go an move forward. I hope you aren’t as stubborn as I am. I sincerely hope, if you have identified a need to release bad vibrations from the past, that you will completely give yourself over to a proper moral inventory.
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So if salvation is the deliverance from suffering, is to salvage, or recover, the good in what is left-over and discard the broken, damaged pieces, this is the deliverance we are promised in the promises of the great teacher who was Jesus. Put aside any reservations about religion, Catholicism or Christianity in particular and look instead at the Spiritual teachings of the great master of which Jesus was. There have been other great teachers, which include, but are not limited to Mohammad, Buddha, Krishna, Patangali, and more recently, Paramahansa Yogananda, Paramahamsa Nithyananda, and most recently Eckhart Tolle to name but a few…
Look for next week’s edition on “TRUTH”. And be sure to subscribe to our weekly newsletter to receive it directly you won’t miss a beat.
©Copyright 2015 www.beyondthe12th.com All rights reserved
Edition 2 Issue #29
We’re on a JOURNEY, come along for the ride as we guide you BEYOND your current state, Beyond recovery, Beyond ego-mind towards Enlightenment. Hang on tight because the ride will be wild and sometimes painful, but the alternative is completely insane! Your Journey is your own, so own it, cherish it and be grateful (see our blog post on “GRATITUDE” in the March 4th, 2015 issue; subscribe today to have our newsletter delivered directly to your inbox.) in every moment. The Moment is NOW! This Journey will show you how to be more present in the Moment
Embrace your Journey; it’s yours alone, no one else can follow your exact path. Whenever you doubt yourself we want you to reach out to us for guidance, read a past blog, follow twitter feeds, and join the conversation on Facebook. We want you to feel ‘part of’ the Universal Energy of Creation, the Source of all there is permeates throughout everything and you will never be alone, so you should never feel lonely.
Loneliness is a manifestation of the false sense of separation (we wrote on “SEPARATION” April 22, 2015 and we will write on “LONELINESS” in our August 12th, 2015issue; subscribe today to have our newsletter delivered directly to your inbox.)
Loneliness is an illusion created out of the fear the ego-mind manipulates us with. The longer the control of ego-mind holds you in fear the further we are to achieving Enlightenment. You never, ever have to feel lonely again! Until you have complete Faith in a Spiritual Energy, Universal mind or Source of all there is, find a support group which can take you from fear to Faith. I used, and still am a member who attends meetings weekly, sometimes several meetings weekly. The fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous is a powerful, worldwide group of people who gather to share their experience strength and hope with each other in the common goal of solving the problems which lead to alcoholism and have accepted the life purpose of remaining sober and helping others achieve sobriety. You ask: how can this help me if I don’t have a problem with alcohol?
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And I tell you there are hundreds of groups branched off from this original and we, of Alcoholics Anonymous®, have achieved sobriety by doing the work of the “program” and this work had uncovered root causes of alcoholism (read addictions of all sorts) which solved our common problem when we were “painstaking” about this process.
We discovered we had a fourfold illness which left untreated was eating up our insides. We had a Spiritual malady, (also mind, body and emotional) described in the text Alcoholics Anonymous®, referred to as the “Big Book” in the doctor’s opinion. If you don’t want to read the book, don’t think you’re an alcoholic or addict, at least go on line or to a library and read the doctor’s opinion in the forward. Although dated, like 80 years ago, it has a valuable explanation, in in today’s world, about the root causes and how the progression is fatal if a complete personal inventory is not undertaken.
Anyone who has any experience with business on any level knows a business must take regular inventory and audit its systems to remain successful and have complete knowledge of where the business stands vis-à-vis its competitors, its lenders, its market share, etc.… Well if the person doesn’t do this we are at a loss to understand what our shortcomings are. The business with identify weaknesses and adjust for them, the person must, by all means and purposes, do the same or the gig’s up.
In 12 Step Recovery, whether you chose AA, NA, SA, GA, DA, or any other of the multitude of programme’s which are derived from Alcoholics Anonymous®, you have a new design for living which we, the recovered members, embrace with wholeheartedness because it works. There is a saying within the rooms of recovery used by those who are winning at the game of recovery “It works if you work it!” And this holds true for me and countless others who were desperate enough to try this thing.
Look for next week’s edition on “SALVATION”. And be sure to subscribe to our weekly newsletter to receive it directly you won’t miss a beat.
©Copyright 2015 www.beyondthe12th.com All rights reserved
Edition 2 Issue #28
Oh boy! Tolerance. If I had tolerance for people, places, and things that aren’t as I see they should be, I wouldn’t be so angry. I took a class in anger management last year, or the year before, not sure how long ago, but I do recall it was at the recommendation of friends who identified the anger lying dormant within me. I came out of the sessions with resentment (read: anger) at one of the facilitators for going off on a tangent about women taking the role of ‘victim’ in today’s society. I thought she was full of s**t, and was about to say so when the leader of the group saw my outrage, and quickly changed the subject. I failed to return for the last session. I failed at anger management class! (F) - Just kidding, I learned a lot and will share some at a later blog…
Why do I have to fix everything? How do I get my tolerance level to where I can be accepting of things, as they should be, allowing the flow of the Universe to be? This is tolerance of things, tolerance of others’ ideas and thoughts and acts. I used to be so critical and judgemental of everything that wasn’t the way “I” thought it should be. I was so intolerant, intolerant of your views, intolerant of your ideas, you concepts, and all your ways.
The way my ideas and ideals had created this little world where only “Bill’s” way was the right way. And I was right! Always right, about everything. When you entered my world it was “My way or the highway”.
No wonder most of my relationships where short lived. I used to live by the ‘code’: anyone who entered into my life was there to serve my purposes. Well, not only did this not work for very long, I found out in sobriety that this ‘code’ that we lived by is the first premise of abuse.
Yes I was an abuser of my women, and anyone else who entered my ‘entourage’. Emotional abuse was what that was all about. I was intolerant of others. I was intolerant of any view which was different from my closed little image of life, and how this little world in which I lived revolved. The way I rolled was “MY way”. Everything and everybody would be on board, or be left out; the train was leaving without you. “My way or the highway!”
I was a big shot in my own mind. My motto was “Don’t you know who I think I am!” or something to that effect. While things were going strong, while I was at the top of my game, this appeared to be great. In all appearances I was the head honcho! I was The “Go To” guy, to get things done. And when the money, booze and drugs flowed, so did the women and the entourage. So nobody would dare go against the unwritten “code” of MY way! As long as you wanted, or needed a piece of the pie, you just had to play by my rules, or else.
How would you feel if you were constantly being corrected, being told what to do and how to behave? Everything you did was just not right, just needed to be some correction, some adjustment to make it right? Is this ‘narcissistic”, or a step beyond it to abusive in an obsessive compulsive way? I think the latter. So how many are reading this who resemble this behavior? How many know someone who resembles this behavior? And of the latter group, will you share this and send it to the ‘narcissist’ in your life, have them take a closer look and see if they identify the abuser, or the obsessive compulsive and if they are ready to do something about it? Or if they thing they are just the icing in the cake and you just want some more sweetness from this type….
At the end of the day I must act and speak from a place of Love and Tolerance. “Do onto others as you would have them do onto you” This is the number ONE Commandment of living.
Look for next week’s edition on “JOURNEY”. And be sure to subscribe to our weekly newsletter to receive it directly you won’t miss a beat.
©Copyright 2015 www.beyondthe12th.com All rights reserved
Edition 2 Issue #27
Being authentic, it’s like a notch up from being honest. So since becoming honest is one of the primary Spiritual Keys to a program of recovery, one of the great Spiritual Key to the Journey of Enlightenment, why not kick it up a notch, and strive for authenticity in all my doings, in all my affairs. This is what life is all about. Open, transparent, and authentic should be primary principles in everyone’s toolkit, goals on the top of my list of everyday achievements.
How does this fit into my quest for Enlightenment to become more authentic in all my actions and thoughts? The principle of authenticity requires the ability to be true to oneself.
“To thine own self be True.” - William Shakespeare.
It is true; the Natural Being must seek “Authenticity”, so why would this be difficult for us humans? Well, because our ego-mind pushes us to be false, our conditioning is to place a façade, or false front, up in the face of possible judgement. We are so conditioned to feel the need to impress, conditioned to think we must be someone different than who we really are. We need to show different than who we really are because our conditioning, our ego-mind, tells us we are not good enough the way we are. If we didn’t have the blockages which got in our way, the blockages of our ego-mind telling us we must be different than who we really are, that we must demonstrate a false façade to look belter, to appear worthy. When the real Truth is that we are created in the image of GOD, and our authentic self is the highest order of Being!
So when, in the Bible, there is mention that the great Teacher: Jesus instructed us, His children; to “Become as little children”, what is this telling us? If we look closely at these words, and capture the above explanation of “Authenticity”, it should become clear to us that there is much work need to be done to remove the ego-mind, the lying, false front, or ‘façade’ if you will; which stand in the way of the “Sunlight of the Spirit” or achievement of Enlightenment as is our Divine right as children of God, as we are created in His Image.
"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone elses' opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."
~ Oscar Wilde
This is our primary purpose: To enable the Divine Purpose of the Universe to unfold. So I, as a recovered alcoholic therefore have two primary purposes, as I am bound by the Principles of the Program of AA to remain sober (read: clean of any and all drugs) to help others to achieve sobriety, and to practice the Principles laid out in the twelve Step of Alcoholics Anonymous in all my affairs” and also to “Enable the Divine Purpose of the Universe to unfold.” This is my Service to Humanity as was laid out to me by Divine Principles of the Laws of the Universe, or Source as I will refer to in much of my writing.
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AUTHENTICITY CHART
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So when we look clearly at the differences we see what we are driven by ego-mind, and what we should be striving, and continually working towards to achieve Peace through liberation from ego-mind. The road to Enlightenment will be achieved through developing “AUTHENTICITY” of being. Come join us on this great Quest!
Look for next week’s edition on “TOLERANCE”. And be sure to subscribe to our weekly newsletter to receive it directly you won’t miss a beat.
©Copyright 2015 www.beyondthe12th.com All rights reserved
Edition 2 Issue #26
This week’s blog is a doozy! To celebrate the 4th of July, and a few days ago the Canadian Birthday! The World Cup Women’s on Sunday in Vancouver, CANADA… so many amazing things this week to rejoice about, and Celebrate, especially the fireworks.
We speak about celebrating being, and remaining, “OPEN-MINDED” in all things, and we suggest this as one of the most important aspects of your consciousness as you embark on your journey to Enlightenment. Without this very important ingredient you will encounter blockages, which will exclude you from the “Sunlight of the Spirit”. Remember the great words of HERBERT SPENCER:
"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance - that principle is contempt prior to investigation."
Read MoreEdition 2 Issue #25
Opening yourself up to possibility allows the Universe to beckon in all goodness and abundance, and allows it to stay. Now how do I become open to possibility? An attitude of Gratitude is required. The opening of my heart, the opening of my soul, where the pain body is released lies within these words: Nothing can harm you of which you don’t allow to affect you. YES! You understood correctly, only those things of which you allow to harm you can actually harm you. Release and let go NOW! Feel the discomfort, feel through the pain and allow it to dissipate. The more I am able to feel the pain and suffering, the faster it will dissipate and release. Alternately, when I stifle the pain and suffering, pushing it deep into the recesses of my heart to keep from feeling bad, from being in the pain body; the longer and more pronounced will my pain be. Go figure!
We had a Spiritual teacher from the East guide us in a meditation on ‘letting Go’ (see our writings on “LETTING GO” in January 7, 2015 edition of our newsletter, subscribe today to receive it directly to your email, you won’t miss a beat). He instructed us in this guided meditation, to feel all thoughts. I must remind you here of the second sutra of Yoga by Patanjali: “Yoga chitta vritti nirodha”; the purpose of yoga is to quiet the mind and supress the thought waves. Or more directly translated: “Yoga is the suppression of the pulsation of the mental substance.”
Yet this Eastern Master reminded us this is all but impossible; that only the greatest of masters are able to achieve stillness of mind, and then only after many years of practice of deep yoga, as it was created, much more than just stretching exercises. Originally Eastern yoga was a discipline not unlike martial arts where the disciple spent many long years of study to achieve balance and allow the light to enter. So don’t expect Enlightenment overnight. Actually don’t expect Enlightenment period. You will achieve it if you just allow it to happen. The transformation is subtle when the correct steps are taken. Being, and remaining, open to possibility is a great key to this achievement. Allow it to flow, let go and let the Universe, the Source of all there is, transform you in its time.
So Swami Nithyananda guided us through a process where we allow the thoughts to enter, without judgement, without allowing any thought to harm, without allowing the thoughts to string together and create a storyline. As we sit in meditation we attempt to still the mind, we allow thoughts to enter, we feel the thoughts and then allow these same thoughts to exit and dissipate as a bubble over the head. We don’t allow the thoughts to create a storyline and therefore they cannot harm us. Practice this meditation daily, in a quiet place. I like the early morning hours, Rumi tells us we must remain awake in the early hours, the doorway is open in the very early hours, remain awake and the gifts will be bestowed upon you.
"HUMMINGBIRD" painting by brother of AUTHOR ©Copyright 2015 www.beyondthe12th.com All rights reserved
So when we allow the thoughts to just dissipate. When we allow the things we used to perceive as harmful, to just flow through us, feel the discomfort, find the place in which it resides and feel it deeply; allowing this pain to be felt and released is the key to totally and completely remove the walls which block us from the ‘Sunlight of the Spirit’. We must not allow thoughts, ideas, and especially prejudices to dwell inside; this is what creates the pain body, the place in the recesses of the heart where we store the unpleasantness, the distress and the suffering. We so believe that when we just stuff it aside this will be the best. Well it has been proven that this is what the ego, or pain body wants us to believe, this is how it remains powerful over us, by holding things inside. The longer we hold a pin, or a discomfort, the harder it is to release, because we now own it. No matter how bad it is for us, it’s our ‘comfort zone’ and no one, no way will take away my comfort zone! No WAY! This is how the pain rules us, by allowing us to believe it is good, it is ok to hold onto. This is false! Let it go. Do a thorough moral and intellectual inventory. Do it now and begin the release.
Now how can I possibly have an attitude of gratitude when there are always problems in my life, always things going wrong? Whoever coined the phrase about the Murphy guy, must be Irish or something, that anything can go wrong, will go wrong, or something to this effect. Everything goes wrong in my life, always someone or something, which pisses me off, which is intentionally harmful to me. Like the guy who just cut me off in traffic, I’m so mad I want to take a baseball bat to him, and/or his car… The older man looked at my daughter – doesn’t he know how old she is, she’s just a child, how could he look at her like that, what a pervert, he should be shot, or castrated, or locked up for the rest of his life… All these hateful and resentful thoughts come to us constantly; infringes on the thought patterns ingrained in us as “good and bad”, and the good and bad of it happens to be different for all, anyone or anything which is hurtful to my belief system, to my ‘family of origin’ concepts of good and bad. We must understand that everyone’s perception may be different; everyone’s learning’s are somewhat different. What if the guy looking at your daughter closely is a fashion designer, or a modeling scout? Maybe he’s gay and is looking for his next modeling protégé? What if the guy who just cut you off is a surgeon who just got an emergency call to the hospital and needs to get there in a great hurry, as this is a life or death situations. Maybe unlikely scenarios?
Maybe we perceive things differently and are always on the defensive? And then this is the problem, when we remain in a defensive and critical thinking pattern, our defenses are up and we allow the little things in life to affect us. Then we hold them in a sacred place in our heart, and these are our walls, these are the blockages keeping us from the ‘Sunlight of the Spirit’. So we need to let these dissipate. We need to adopt an attitude of gratitude for everything. Looking at things for a different perspective, allowing the benefit of the doubt to everyone and everything that happens in the day. This is very hard to do at first, but when we practice this, when we meditate on allowing everything to flow as it should, we free ourselves from our self-harm. The pain we hold will be released through an attitude of Gratitude for all things.
I AM: Therefore I AM able to let go, and let GOD!
- Paul E.
Look for next week’s edition on “OPEN-MINDEDNESS”. And be sure to subscribe to our weekly newsletter to receive it directly you won’t miss a beat.
©Copyright 2015 www.beyondthe12th.com All rights reserved
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